I'd like to have a healthy weight. I'd like to travel around the world. I'd like to finish college, successfully. I'd like to have a steady and good paying job. I'd like to be with someone who I can relate to. I'd like to have my best and close friends with me until the end. I'd like to meet new people along the way to share new memories. Everything I do will always work toward my endless goals.
I don't follow the phrases, "No pain no gain. No risk no reward", I lead them. I'm here to make changes for myself and help others.
I believe we had this talk before, but it doesn't seem like you're getting the point so let me hand this to you one more time and I mean it, ONE more time. What makes you think you can just come into my life and make me feel so disgusting? Ugly? And fat - like you? I mean I'm 100% positive my name is Connie and it will always be Connie. I won't let Fat Connie or Connie Fat happen. You're not a part of me and you should have never came near me to begin with. Now, I can't just fully blame you for coming into my life because I also had to let that happen. So let's make this as easy and clean for you and me - I want you out of my life and you can go on your merry way to back to where you came from. Hm, actually just leave me and my girls alone who don't need you in our lives. And will you stop standing in our way? It's over. Even though, I'd like to slap you around and beat the crap out of you for making me feel and look this way from the start, it'd be better if you just leave. I'd like to live the rest of my life without you giving me hell. Oh don't worry, I'll give you all the things you gave me back. I'll give you back the love handles you gave me, I'll give you back the enormous thighs you gave me, I'll give you back the hidden fat under my belly, and I'll give you back everything that made me so unhappy and ugly. I want things that make me happy and you? You can't give me any of that. You hear? No excuses! Just leave.
Thanks, Connie
P.S. By the way, no need to pack. I did it for you.
I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.
EDIT - DAY 5 Calorie intakes 14 Pretzl sticks (1 3/4 serving) - 192.5 calories China diet slim tea - 0 calories 1 1/2 mini pouches of gold fishes - 240 calories 1 Mcnugget - 45.7 calories
Total calories: 478.2
Water 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Calorie outtakes 30 squats 15 minute walking 50 jumping jacks 15 minute jogging in place
I really feel like I failed today, but on the positive side, I still ate less calories than when I did not start this diet! Whoop!
EDIT #2 While I was doing my mini workout, I watched two movies! No Reservations and Because I said so - both heartwarming and sappy. I love both!
+ Song #13
The Weepies - Gotta have you All time favorite song from the Weepies <3
I'm on day 4 and I'm feeling fine! And guys, I've only been consuming about 100-200 calories a day and if I keep this up for 2 months, I'll be able to reach my weight goal! I honestly thought it was going to be as hard as a year ago when I did this myself, but not anymore since I have plenty of people like you guys for inspiration and motivation. Let's all reach our weight goal in no time!
EDIT! Here's my calorie intake for today: 1 chicken burrito - 300 calories 2 small apples - 128 Hcalories 6 pretzl sticks - 160 calories Total calories: 578
Outake Walking - 15 minutes
When you're passionate about something, you put everything you got into it.
The only way to get what you really want, is to know what you really want. And the only way to know what you really want, is to know yourself. And the only way to know yourself, is to be yourself. And the only way to be yourself is to listen to your heart.
Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together.
It’s not what you look at that matters, it’s what you see.
Happiness is a direction. focus on the positive. don’t let the naysayers get you down. it’s your life, and your dreams will come true if you have the courage to pursue them. don’t let let anyone (or what they say) stop you.
Pick your battles.
The only way to get what you really want, is to know what you really want. And the only way to know what you really want, is to know yourself. And the only way to know yourself, is to be yourself. And the only way to be yourself is to listen to your heart.
Happiness is a direction, not a place.
If you don’t imagine, nothing ever happens at all.
Don’t fear failure so much that you refuse to try new things. The saddest summary of a life contains three descriptions: could have, might have, and should have.
In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.
+ Song #12
Jay Sean ft. Nikki Minaj - 2012 * Such a fun song haha
A little update on my weight-loss pills intake: I didn't take my pill today. I decided to see if I can do this BY myself and you guys who are doing this solely on your guys' determination has inspired me. Why should I take the easy way out when it can risk my health? Thanks for everyone who has expressed their concern. Yesterday I had a small bowl of rice and beef, a peach, and 9 bottles of water. I actually had a lot more than day 1 on the pills, but it has cut my appetite more than half. I will continue to do this until I reach my weight goal. In all honesty, I feel lighter and I don't feel like I'm using so much weight to walk up the stairs at all. I can easily run up there and down and two more times and still feel good. I feel real good!
Now onto the title of my post today...
A couple days ago my uncle was calling my little cousin downstairs and my little cousin did not respond until my uncle literally screamed his name and then he came downstairs yelling back, "what?!" Keep in mind that my little cousin is only 6. I was up in the guest room sitting with my other little cousin, his 4 year old sister just listening to my uncle yell at my little cousin then there comes the sound of smacking and lecturing. At first, it was like, "Oh okay...my uncle is just disciplining my little cousin." I mean I've always been "disciplined" that way when I was younger and my uncle is still obviously old-fashioned. In my opinion, I think it is wrong to hit children - completely wrong. You're just setting them up for fear. I don't want my kids to live in fear of me...I want them to be able to run to me when they're in need of anything and not be afraid to talk to me. It is said that when a kid is disobedient and the kid gets hit, the kid will completely stop from doing the bad things and learn for the better. Literally in mind, this is the scenario:
*SMACK* "I'm doing this for your own good understand! I don't wanna hit you, but I have to so you can learn and be a better person okay!"
"Oh daddy! Hit me one more time please!?"
Yeah....no. And literally, that's what Asian parents (I say that because I've only seen and heard that Asian parents say) usually say to their kids when they hit them. I know there are other ethnicities out there that get a whooping from their parents too and to sum it all up, it SUCKS.
And it was two days ago when my little cousins and I were sitting in the 4 year old's room to watch TV, I noticed major bruises on the 6 year old's legs. I pulled him close to me and looked at both of his legs and both legs were bruised. One leg was worse cause the bruises led up to his thighs. It was horrible - I felt so bad for him.
On a personal level of my life, I was getting sick and tired of my parents beating me for like bad grades and such that I called a social worker and have the person come down to talk to my parents. It's said that it is NOT child abuse if you hit the child on the butt with an OPEN HAND. But anything else is. Any use of a household item or just anything that's not an open hand on the butt is child abuse. It'd be real hard to change any parents' choice to hit their children when they're bad. It's a little depressing to assume that, but I know for sure this generation should make a change of that like I will.
I want to hold every child's hand that has gotten a bit of a beating to A LOT that leads to abandonment and let them know that they're special to this world.
Nobody wants to admit to this but bad things will keep happening. Maybe that’s because it’s all a chain, and a long time ago someone did the first bad thing and that led someone also to do another bad thing, and so on You know, like that game where you whisper a sentence into someone’s ear, and that person whispers it to someone, and it all comes out wrong in the end. But then again, maybe bad things happen because it’s the only way we can keep remembering what good is supposed to look like. - Jodi Picoult
When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.
Second day I'm taking the pills and honestly, I'm not feeling the side effects other people are experiencing like rapid heartbeats and restlessness. My appetite has suppressed dramatically! It's amazing cause I usually stuff myself endlessly which causes my weight gain, but now I'm uninterested in eating. But it's said to force myself to eat at least 3 small meals a day to keep my diet balanced. Yesterday I failed to eat 3 small meals. Instead I ate 1 small meal of rice and beef and about 5 bottles of water.
So anyway, I see that a lot of girls are struggling with their weight like I am, but I have not come across someone who needs to lose more than 50lbs just around 30lbs and lower. I'm positive there are more girls out there who need to lose more than 40lbs that probably feels discouraged cause they have a lot more to lose than most girls they see around them. Here's a some encouragement and possibly inspiration for you to go get what you want!
Sometimes, if you try hard enough, the person you want to be becomes the person you are.
I keep asking people to be happy. I just realized how stupid that is. If it were that easy, everyone would be happy already. So instead, I’m gonna ask everyone to be brave. That’s still not easy, but at least it’s more easily attainable right?
So I've just bought weightloss pills called Li Shou and this is what it looks like:
I received it yesterday and started on it today. I woke up at 11am today and took a pill before showering - no immediate effects so far. I decided that I won't be weighing myself everyday or at the end of every week to see if I lost any weight. What I want to see in the mirror is changes on my face and my body. I mean people can lose 5lbs and see no changes in their body so I just want to make this weight-loss diet specifically towards physical changes in my body than obsess over the numbers on the scale. I've tried doing the calorie diet a year ago, it helped dramatically cause I became so conscious of what I was eating that I can't count every calorie intake and outtake everyday so I stopped. It was a drag and a real slow process. I'm not a very patient person so having to write down how many calories I'm eating everyday and making sure I don't overeat was such a pain in the ass! With these pills and like any other pills out there, it should boost my metabolism and help my body burn a lot more fat. I only bought a box of Li Shou just to see how it goes. There are 30 pills inside and I will be taking them everyday with 15 minutes of exercise and 3 meals a day - well I'll try to eat 3 meals a day. It says that these pills also curves your appetite and that's true cause I still have not eaten anything and my stomach has not growled wanting food and usually at this time, I'll be stuffing myself full and content.
And for those people out there who are struggling with their weight as well - if you're overweight or self-conscious of how you look, I just want to let you all know that you're beautiful. No matter what. The changes you want for yourself should only be for yourself and no one else. You're beautiful. No matter how many times you look in that mirror, you're beautiful. When you see yourself physically change, you're beautiful. Don't get so conscious of the way you look that you overlook the whole purpose of trying to change. You changing should only and will always be only for you.
Hi, I'm Connie.
